Emotions build up within time, and it hits you when you least expect it. When I was enjoying the silence alone this afternoon in the rented, something hit me just like that. Like a subtle wake up call. Looking at my own reflection in the mirror, I felt a sudden pit of fear. I'm 23 already. But look at my achievement. NOTHING. Nothing but a good hooky player. I'm a champion when it comes to ditching classes. And that simply means, NOTHING.
Most of the people who are at my age started their career path already. It makes me feel extremely bad when people story me about how they build their career. And our difference from my observation is that, they're CERTAIN with their directions of life. And me? L.O.S.T.
Fact is that, it scares the crap outta me to realize that I'm growing up. Things became uglier when you're a grown up. Is this the REALITY that I didn't understand when I was a kid? That's probably the reason why I'm always in denial thinking that I'm STILL a kid.
Reality check. I know I'm no longer a kid. It's time to take another step into the next stage of life. But I'm walking like a baby. Every steps that I take are just baby steps. How am I to catch up with the pace if I'm going at this rate?
Life is all about making decisions. Loathe it much when it comes to decision making. I'm always indecisive. Or when I finally manage to stand firm on my own ground, all feedbacks that I get are proving me wrong. WHY? Why things as such happen? When will I make the RIGHT decision?
I drive my own life, very recklessly to some people, but its never wrong to believe the unbelievable and to dream the impossible right? I'm a coward who is too afraid to taste regrets. I never wish to say things like "I should have done that." in the future. Regret is the ugliest emotion. EVER.
I feel like part of my mind soul are somewhat, stolen. I don't know to think, I don't know what I'm writing right now. Abrupt end. Thankyouverymuch.
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